nice guys finish last (part 2)

The "nice guy" is immediately not very desirable to women because his approach is not quintessentially masculine (the forceful in your face, say anything-do anything, aggressive type)... their timidity and kindness cause women to think of them as just a friend... almost like one of the girls. The "nice-guy male friend" is the one that would never break a woman's heart; he's becomes the guy who's around when she needs him. He will be her comforting shoulder when her "bad boy" boyfriend goes postal, will be a shoulder to cry on-- but despite all of his "nice guy" efforts, he remains...

STUCK in the Friend Zone

So, what exactly is going on here?!
Well, the "nice guy" is still under her radar because:

1. She doesn't dislike him enough to turn him away.

2. She doesn't like him enough to want him in a romantic way.

This is probably one of the most frustrating things that a girl can do, but it happens... some women are more inclined to stick males into the Friend Zone but every women has at least one "converted" male friend who's probably still in love with her (a fact she'd rather ignore/repress). In some cases, this guy has been "wait-listed," put on the back burner for a rainy day, or in other cases, they have been ruled out completely. Once most guys cross over into the Friend Zone, there is no coming back.

This is unfortunate (especially for the guy involved) but it only happens with NICE women. They're so nice, that they can't be straight forward and blunt when they need to turn a guy down. A woman already knows whether she is not attracted to a particular guy within the first 10 seconds of meeting/seeing him, but in that short period of time, she probably doesn't dislike him enough to flatly reject him. This is where it really gets bad, because the she is creating false hope (upon giving mixed/ambiguous signals) for the man pursuing her. When he finally realizes that he will never be more than a friend (the feeling is not mutual), he is left heart-broken.

My advice to "Nice guys": Toughen up... say no sometimes (if you are a friend). Don't drool and dote over her all the time. Chill out a little!!... Maintain your cool and don't be too needy. Although all woman say they want to be a man's first priority, they don't. At least not until they are married (well at least I'd hope a wife is a major priority in her husband's life). Also, make yourself (appear) busy. Let her know that you have other interests, other friends, and OTHER things to do... without forgetting her completely of course. Also, don't make her feel like your world with stop turning if she denies you, because then you may find yourself in an even worse situation as just a friend... unless you're okay with that of course.

All in all... some people are just not for each other. Not every woman is gonna love whatever man flaunts himself in front of her face, just like every man is not going to be attracted every woman. The truth is, there are going to be some women who just can't/won't see a good thing even when it's right in front of their face, and although they won't admit it, they subconsciously enjoy the drama and heartache they wind up with in relationships with "bad boys." These women may consciously say that they deserve better, but their subconscious insecurities tell them otherwise.

If it's meant to be... it will be. If not... c'est la vie.
You win some you lose some. Most times when someone walks out of your life, it's so someone better (suited for you) can walk in. Besides, you deserve better. Someone who appreciates you... and that's the truth.