the other woman

We talk a lot of smack about the other woman. You know, the sidepiece, the jump-off, the biznite (old school Wayne reference… listen here), the one who’ll never achieve “wifey” status. The one you call up for a quick hit and hide from your main. We poke fun at her, pitying her for not knowing that all she’s ever going to be is on the side. We blame her for leading our men astray. She gets cussed out, her hair pulled, and drinks poured on her for tampering with the sanctity of a monogamous relationship. In the words of a friend, “Why doesn’t she just go get her own man and leave mine alone?!” She’s the ho, the two-timing skeezer, the tramp, et cetera. Say what you will, but I can understand why a woman would choose the sideline role… Especially if a serious relationship is not what she seeks.

Guys who are taken are easier to deal with. There’s never an awkward or difficult conversation about where the relationship is headed. And, as the other woman you never have to actually deal with his real life troubles… All the complicated ish just gets passed to the main (that's HER job, right?). You don’t have to clean or cook for him. You don't have to do anything special, unless it’s in the bedroom, and even then, it’s not a requirement. Hey, you’re just a dip! Anything extra is on your terms!! Sex with no strings, plain and simple. So it's not entirely ridiculous if a woman is looking for this type of interaction, as such liberation is not so easily begotten when involving yourself with other singles.

Face it, relationships are drama! Issues with trust, all kinds of deception, and always that underlying uncertainty of mutual feelings. With a taken guy, you know where you stand. As long as both of you want the same thing from the “relationship”, it’s all good.

I digress...

Despite valiant human rights work on behalf of Angelina Jolie and Alicia Keys to make “the other woman” not look like a big ol’ skank, the truth is most people still think “the other woman” is… well, a big ol’ skank. And guess what, ladies?! There’s an awesome double standard where people shrug their shoulders at Mr. Married/Committed But Couldn’t Keep His Pants Zipped and say, “Boys will be boys,” while they give you the stink-eye, you home-wreckin’ ho!

But seriously, look at the scenario logically… Sure, in some ways the other woman is overstepping her bounds (in the case that she knows that she is involved with a taken man) but, in MOST cases, when analyzing the situation rationally, can the female party really be the one to blame? Sure, there are woman who intentionally go for men with girlfriends/wives (some sort of rush they get out of being desired—having “control” over—by someone else’s man) but in the end who is really playing who? Is the “other woman” in a relationship? Does the “other woman” have any allegiance to the girlfriend/wife?... NO.

So there’s absolutely no sense in blaming the sideline when a man starts cheating! She technically has no loyalties towards to the girlfriend/wife (unless they were friends in the first place… then that’s a WHOLE other situation altogether). The state of the “monogamous” relationship is not her problem. So go get mad at your man!! Regardless of who came onto who, HE is the real perpetrator here!!

Leave the chick out of the equation because the problems in your relationship really don’t have much to do with her.

Anyways, on of my favorite Cheaters clips... Hilar.