post modern girl

jack of all trades

2010-04-23T01:43:00.007-04:00

"Jack of all trades... Master of none."

Toro & Moi Master of None
This song is a Beach House cover (put to the Beach House music video) ---but I dig this one so much more. Amusez-vous bien!

she's fly

2010-04-21T01:38:00.002-04:00

Bucket List:
Get someone to write a song about me.

Just think, some unsuspecting girl inspired this tresor.
I would like to be her.

Song: dope.
Artist: even doper.

not in vain

2010-02-19T03:22:00.003-05:00

Inspiration:

If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.

Not in Vain, Emily Dickinson

My newest tattoo.

Passion Pit Moth's Wings

sonnymoon-ers

2010-02-07T12:48:00.010-05:00

I just recently discovered a duo out of Boston called Sonnymoon and I love their video (directed by Lauren Santorio). The song is called "Run Away" off of their LP Golden Age. The stop-animation is super dope! Kind of reminds me of Harold And the Purple Crayon (shout out to my 1st grade teacher Mrs. Rock!).

Anyways, they definitely have a nice sound. Sort of Little Dragon meets Bat For Lashes... LOVE!

That was just a taste, but the entire LP is definitely worth DOWNLOAD-ing.

Here's an amazing interpretation of the Houstatlantavegas Drake joint. Covering a hip-hop track truly demonstrates their fearlessness and range. Hope you like it as much as I do.

Sonnymoon Houstatlantavegas (Cover)

i'm not a robot

2010-02-03T01:13:00.004-05:00

This song to me is obviously about being human and accepting that fact.

This day in age, people so easily lose touch with their very humanity. Society pushes human beings to strive further and further for perfection, so much so that people expect themselves and others to have inhuman characteristics. Hello, Heidi Montag (chick is off her rocker)?!!

People try to make themselves numb to the trials and tribulations of life... Relationships, family, our success (or lack thereof), etc. This song is basically a PSA advocating that we, as human beings, should not be afraid of admitting our vulnerability, accepting our humanity, and being the warm-blooded, emotional, excitable, fragile creatures that we are. It's about embracing your imperfections rather than trying to cover them up. I concur.

Anyways, I like this video... It's a little weird, but I like weird. And it makes me wish I could walk around with colorful rhinestones glued to my eyelids and lips without people staring at me like I'm crazy.

Enjoy.

Marina & The Diamonds "I Am Not A Robot"

I think she looks like my friend Lisa. Lisa thinks so too.

Here's the Penguin Prison Remix to the song. I like it better than the original. Shhhh...

idle warship

2010-01-26T20:23:00.003-05:00

My new favorite group. Dope trio featuring Talib and female vocalists Res and Graph Noble. They combine a lot of different genres (like I like) with their music and are just fresh. Good party/hang-out tunes. Indulge.

Fun video for my favorite track off of their mixtape Party Robot (title is pretty self explanatory). This song really speaks to me. I think any girl can relate to it... Sadly.

"Bedroom Lights"

Please download the mixtape! It's super good.

c'est "la vie"

2010-01-14T00:58:00.004-05:00

This song moves me... Like a painting....

The XX Night Time

"Hold my words, keep us together
Steady walking but bound to trip
Should release but just tighten my grip"

Picasso La Vie (Blue Period)

I have been fortunate enough to have seen this in person multiple times. One of the most breath-taking pieces I've laid eyes on thus far. And, how befitting one of my favorite songs (conceptually).

over there

2010-01-04T20:38:00.005-05:00

"Thomas Edison's last words were:
'It's beautiful over there.' I don't know where there is, but I believe it's somewhere. And I hope it's beautiful."

John Green, Looking For Alaska

if people were rain...

2009-12-27T00:36:00.005-05:00

So, I've been stuck with my parents for the past 24 hrs (almost) and I've been dealing in various ways. My coping mechanisms of choice have been drowning in music and READING, which I seldom do... unless it involves BioChem or Art History. Anyways, here is a striking passage I came across today while reading Looking for Alaska by John Green. Alaska is the girl's name in the book... sweet.

I love that last line, "...thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was hurricane." Lovely. A way with words that Mr. Green has.

Also, some good music...
Grizzly Bear Two Weeks

merry christmas

2009-12-20T22:49:00.002-05:00

Very artistic.
Very holiday-ish.
Very niiiice.

Enjoy.

NEW YORK CHRISTMAS from Matthew Brown on Vimeo.

Whatever you celebrate (Christmas, Hannukah, Kwaanza, Mother Earth, etc.) a very special Happy Holidays goes out to you from... me. I hope you eat good food and spend good time with the ones you love. Peace & blessings.

the xx

2009-12-20T15:20:00.011-05:00

I'm back... Liberated from the chains which I like to call "Fall Semester Senior Year." In captivity, however, I did come upon a great new band that I think everyone should know about.

They call themselves The XX . They're from London, with a revolutionary style, that brings together traditional guitar-drum-bass rock sounds with the not so traditional era of electronic dance music. When I first listened to them ("Stars" still one of my favorites), I was pleasantly surprised by the simplicity of their music... It's so raw and pure that it sounds live. With every listen, it never gets old, just better. Their debut album is self-titled and IMO is amazing cover-to-cover, from Intro to end. Every song is unique, but inherently similar, so the entire track-listing just flows.

The four teens create bleakly minimal songs that are dark and romantic. The lyrics as well as the talent of the young musicians are definitely to be appreciated. I can always appreciate a band with two vocalist that sing equally... I think, in a way, the vague lyrics are ones which any young person can relate to, making their mysterious and haunting sound even more personal... Not to mention there is a male and a female vocalist, so there is balance.

But don't take my word for it, listen for yourself. (You can download here. You're welcome lol.)

Crystalised

This is a remix The XX did of a Florence + The Machine song (love their music too) You've Got The Love

...and another, Hot Like Fire (Cover)

I enjoy their music and look forward to their new material. I would also love to see them live! Preferably in a cool, dark venue in a great city with other dope people that like the same kind of music that I do.

turkeyday

2009-11-25T17:24:00.003-05:00

Even though it's a holiday celebrating the genocide of the Native American people, it's a good excuse to get together with the ones we love, to eat foods we love.

May all your turkeys be juicy!
Happy Thanksgiving.

the other woman pt. 2

2009-11-22T20:57:00.007-05:00

The last post had me sounding like an advocate of the “Fuck a Girlfriend, Be a Mistress” campaign… But I’d be doing a grave disservice if I were not to touch on the cold reality of being “the other woman.” If you’re not ready for a physical (loveless) relationship, this position can become very taxing, emotionally and mentally. There are a lot of women who get stuck as the “mistress”, waiting for the day when their “man” is going to up and leave his main squeeze. And then there are the women who don’t even know that they are “the other woman” (another situation altogether… I will not even address it, because it’s even more a lost cause than this one).

In most cases, the woman only agrees to play sideline because she wants to someday get in the game. From day one, she hopes-wishes-prays that the guy will finally realize that he should leave his current relationship, and become involved with her, the obviously better choice (in her eyes). But really, when you’re the other woman, you’re just an escape or a fantasy… Not to be confused with reality.

If he’s told you about his girlfriend, that is a red flag. If you know about her, and have showed no signs of backing off, HE HAS NO INTENTION OF LEAVING HER!! By consenting to becoming involved with him while he is already taken, you’re doing just what he wants, and making it convenient for him because a.) He doesn’t have to lie to you (much) because you already know his situation and b.) You are down for whatever, clearly. You’ll be his best friend, because you’re the one allowing him to “have his cake, and eat it too."

And even if he was honest enough to tell you about his girlfriend, he’s still a liar and a cheater. He’s lying and cheating on his girlfriend, and chances are he’s lying to (and if he ever leaves her for you, will be cheating on) you. It doesn’t matter what crock of shit he told you to win your affection and time, he has to lie in order to maintain the situation (unless you’ve got some sort of deal worked out – but in that case, we would hope that you’re the one running the show). Lying is lying and the only way a guy can juggle two women is by lying… to both of them. If he’s texting you, saying that he can’t stop thinking about you, chances are he’s on the phone with his girlfriend telling her how much he loves her/wants to marry her/blah blah bullshit.

There are women who are interested in exercising power over a taken man just for shits and giggles. They want to see just how under their spell they can get him (to appear to be)… but at some point the tables will turn, and she will realize that in actuality, she has no power at all… after all, if she did, she would have walked away weeks ago! Sometimes the power is derived from knowing that you have someone else’s man in the palm of your hand. But it is rarely just about the sex or the power, because as women, the majority of us get drawn in emotionally, and there is only so much power you can derive from a man who pops up when it suits him and then skips home to his wife or girlfriend.

Women in this situation may tell themselves (and friends) over and over again, “I’m strong. I can handle this!” but it’s only a matter of time… I've known many “side-chicks” who profess that they are totally fine with things and that they aren’t getting hurt. They are either completely disconnected emotionally (which is an even bigger problem) or they’re talking out of their bums with bravado. To suggest that you’re not hurting from this, is to suggest that you don’t care about him or what he is doing, which begs the question: Why are you involved with him in the first place?

Also, "other woman" tends to think that the relationship/situation she is in is “different.” "He's different with me. He shows me the real him." or "He can't leave her right now because this, that and third." Men from Texas to Timbuktu are cheating on their wives/girlfriends, using the same old lines on every fish they bait. They claim that their partner doesn’t understand them, that their partner won't give them a BJ, that they’re waiting for the right time to break it off… And as women, we eat it up. If we’re interested, we move right in, thinking that we can solve his relationship or sexual problems. We’re in constant competition with the main, to win her man’s affection, to outdo her. We tie our self-esteem and success to how much attention he gives us or how much we think we’re “winning.” Consequently, the longer he stays with her, the lower our self-esteem drops and the more emotionally unstable we become. And when it becomes apparent that he'll never leave her... Well, I'll let you imagine how that story ends.

Statistics show that he’s not going to leave her… especially if he’s married or in a long-term relationship. And even if he does leave her, why would you want him? If he is cheating on his wife or girlfriend with you, he is not anyone you’d want to be involved with. Haven’t you ever heard, “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” They don’t just pull this shit out of the air, y’know. It’s likely that somewhere down the line when you two become serious, some other chick will suit his fancy and the cycle will start all over again, except this time you won’t be the “other woman.” You’ll be his woman... That he’s stepping out on.

Ultimately, I think that a lot of women look at attached men and think that because they’re married or in a long term relationship they are capable of commitment but just in an unfortunate situation. However, his actions demonstrate that he’s not committed to anyone other than himself and a woman who settles to be “the other woman” shows that despite their proclamations of wanting to be in a proper relationship, they couldn’t possibly want that, as they’ve sought out the a man incapable of giving them that.

Aaliyah I Can Be...

D. Woods One My Side

the other woman

2009-11-20T00:52:00.007-05:00

We talk a lot of smack about the other woman. You know, the sidepiece, the jump-off, the biznite (old school Wayne reference… listen here), the one who’ll never achieve “wifey” status. The one you call up for a quick hit and hide from your main. We poke fun at her, pitying her for not knowing that all she’s ever going to be is on the side. We blame her for leading our men astray. She gets cussed out, her hair pulled, and drinks poured on her for tampering with the sanctity of a monogamous relationship. In the words of a friend, “Why doesn’t she just go get her own man and leave mine alone?!” She’s the ho, the two-timing skeezer, the tramp, et cetera. Say what you will, but I can understand why a woman would choose the sideline role… Especially if a serious relationship is not what she seeks.

Guys who are taken are easier to deal with. There’s never an awkward or difficult conversation about where the relationship is headed. And, as the other woman you never have to actually deal with his real life troubles… All the complicated ish just gets passed to the main (that's HER job, right?). You don’t have to clean or cook for him. You don't have to do anything special, unless it’s in the bedroom, and even then, it’s not a requirement. Hey, you’re just a dip! Anything extra is on your terms!! Sex with no strings, plain and simple. So it's not entirely ridiculous if a woman is looking for this type of interaction, as such liberation is not so easily begotten when involving yourself with other singles.

Face it, relationships are drama! Issues with trust, all kinds of deception, and always that underlying uncertainty of mutual feelings. With a taken guy, you know where you stand. As long as both of you want the same thing from the “relationship”, it’s all good.

I digress...

Despite valiant human rights work on behalf of Angelina Jolie and Alicia Keys to make “the other woman” not look like a big ol’ skank, the truth is most people still think “the other woman” is… well, a big ol’ skank. And guess what, ladies?! There’s an awesome double standard where people shrug their shoulders at Mr. Married/Committed But Couldn’t Keep His Pants Zipped and say, “Boys will be boys,” while they give you the stink-eye, you home-wreckin’ ho!

But seriously, look at the scenario logically… Sure, in some ways the other woman is overstepping her bounds (in the case that she knows that she is involved with a taken man) but, in MOST cases, when analyzing the situation rationally, can the female party really be the one to blame? Sure, there are woman who intentionally go for men with girlfriends/wives (some sort of rush they get out of being desired—having “control” over—by someone else’s man) but in the end who is really playing who? Is the “other woman” in a relationship? Does the “other woman” have any allegiance to the girlfriend/wife?... NO.

So there’s absolutely no sense in blaming the sideline when a man starts cheating! She technically has no loyalties towards to the girlfriend/wife (unless they were friends in the first place… then that’s a WHOLE other situation altogether). The state of the “monogamous” relationship is not her problem. So go get mad at your man!! Regardless of who came onto who, HE is the real perpetrator here!!

Leave the chick out of the equation because the problems in your relationship really don’t have much to do with her.

Anyways, on of my favorite Cheaters clips... Hilar.

blank, amanda

2009-11-13T01:55:00.012-05:00

No words. Just listen.

Amanda Blank Might Like You Better

I don't smoke... But I like her earrings.

Dope remix to Santigold's I'm A Lady...

nabil's the best

2009-11-13T00:15:00.004-05:00

Mr. Hudson x Nabil = AMAZING.
I love these two in collaboration.

Directed by Nabil.

He's made a lot of dope videos... Check out his Vimeo page to see samples of his work.

cool jewels

2009-11-12T23:51:00.009-05:00

I'm a sucker for "conversation-starter" jewelry. Jewelry is art... And I of course easily fall in love with rare masterpieces. I've come across some really great pieces lately that I've added to my "GET LIST" and I thought I'd share because they're quite stunning.

So it appears that the Elizabeth & James Knuckle Ring designed by Robert Lee Morris has returned!! My tears have dried and the sun is out!! Lovex2.

I should marry it. Buy it at Bloomies here for $195.
If that's too steep, there's a pretty damn good imitation here for a fraction of the price. I also came across another knuckle ring that's not as dramatic but pretty cute nonetheless for only $32 here. The alternatives are nice, but I shall splurge this time. I've waited entirely TOO LONG for this thing... Besides I dig the matte finish on the E&J version better.

I'm also obsessed with these beauties.

So quirky... Yet so very chic. Je suis amoureux...
And the fact that they're Marc Jacobs (and not some bull-ish costume jewelry) doesn't hurt. Plus they're only $68. Yessss!! Buy them at Saks, here. But if you're interested in the "costume" version... You can buy them for significantly less here. Gotta give you some alternatives, because I know how it is out here... Dollars are so very precious and dear in these depressed times.

Peaches I Feel Cream

Happy shopping!!

be my muse

2009-11-10T19:05:00.009-05:00

I was just hanging out on Vimeo and I came across this. I love Metric... And the concept/style of the video is cool. I wish my life could be as carefree as the girls' in this video but they look like they're having a lot of fun. Reminds me of fun times with my friends. Anyways, hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Metric - Sick Muse from Franck Deron on Vimeo.

1 QUESTION: WHY is that chick sitting on the public toilet?! Yuck.

k-u-d-u

2009-11-09T21:44:00.017-05:00

I honestly have NO CLUE how Kudu isn't everywhere because they are amazing and unlike anything I've ever heard!! (Perhaps that's why they aren't.) If you're questioning where all the "real music" went, it's probably because it's being slept on by the mass majority... Typical.

Anyways, Kudu is making music that is way before its time. They're hands down my favorite group of the moment (and every other moment since I discovered them 2 years ago; I put one of their songs in an earlier post). Hailing from Brooklyn, NY (clearly I NEED TO MOVE THERE ASAP, because I'm missing out), the trio includes Sylvia Gordon, the hypnotizing vocalist/songwriter, and Deantoni "D" Parks, an absolute killer on the drums. They're known (or atleast should be known) for their progressive sound, a hybrid of vintage rock, electronica and soul. They've been praised as “one of New York’s most caustic, daringly inventive and criminally underrated dark electronic dance-pop outfits".

One of my favorite videos of all time....
Primitive. Artistic. Revolutionary.

"my heart pumps red blood
big buckets of red love"

ASIDE: Sylvia is such a sexpot... the quintessential femme fatale. I love the rawness of their sound... It's mesmerizing... Rest assure, you'll never come across another band like this one.

RCRDLBL.com says, "Kudu’s formula is to take what's hot and push it forward, while retaining a hauntingly dark artistic simplicity. Their genre-hopping sound ingeniously melds dark synthesizer-pop, gritty voodoo-rock, black metal and arty “no wave” experimentation with feverish punk, glittery future disco, and nihilistic electronic dance grooves underscored by gripping vocals, razor-sharp lyrics, infectious melodies, thunderous drums and maniacal bass synths. It’s an exuberant mixture daring enough to touch several bases while remaining intelligent enough to keep the listener intrigued with an overall edgy and fresh sound."

...and I couldn't have said it better myself. I wish I had a link where you could download for free but it simply doesn't exist and I'm too lazy to make my own compilation. Besides, you should be BUYING it. You can find the full-length release,"Death Of The Party" (2006), here.

Every song is basically my favorite but here is one of their most popular tracks. I heard it playing in Express once, and I'll admit I was entirely TOO impressed to hear that a store having such a musically advanced playlist. However, it was a fluke... They played something ridiculously whack right after (-_-). Anyhow, Indulge thyself.

**DISCLAIMER** You may need a change of underwear.

Kudu Bar Star

food for thought

2009-10-25T17:16:00.007-04:00

As a music lover that listens to music (indie and mainstream alike) practically all day everyday this video I stumbled upon proves VERY disturbing. I mean, I'm not usually one to buy into "conspiracy theories" such as this, but it was convincing enough to have me questioning the actual messages/content in the music I listen to (both conscious and subconscious)... I know it sounds pretty crazy, but with all the craziness in the world today, nothing really surprises me anymore.

Anyway, these videos gives me the creeps (ESPECIALLY the Jay-Z track played backwards, wtf?!! - don't know if it's a hoax or not) but it does offer some interesting points to ponder (alliteration is one of my strong points lol), especially on the whole Michael Jackson murder conspiracy. Some parts seem like whoever made this is reading too much into lyrics or simply seeing something because they are searching for it... but other parts are just weird and pretty blatant if you ask me.

Check it out. It may open your mind... and eyes.

So, what do you believe?
Fact or fiction? Or some complex hybridization of both?

stand next to my fire

2009-10-14T22:00:00.008-04:00

LUPE'S BACK!!

I'm not gonna say too much...but I had to say something.

He sampled one of my favorite songs, "Fire" and given my unhealthy obsession of anything Jimi Hendrix I had to post. And that's kind of a big deal seeing as I never update anymore. However, not gonna lie, I like the original better... but you be the judge.

Lupe Fiasco Fire

Jimi Hendrix Fire

make her say

2009-08-29T01:39:00.003-04:00

okay, i'm late as EVER!!... and i haven't blogged in about 2 months, but i'm bored/drunk and this is my favorite video ever. not really sure why, it just is! the balloons and randomness just takes me to a happy place and it's got all of my favorite people in it (aside from the random video/model chicks, don't know who they are lol).

ASIDE: funny thing about common is that he looks like one of my mom's old friends from waaaay back that i was in love with... when i was like 4 years old (yes it's possible to be in love at 4). but yea, some freudian type shiiih... Common looks great. man, i love that guy! "BABY, DON'T CHANGE NOTHIN" LMFAO!!

my drive-thru

2009-06-07T17:47:00.006-04:00

When I'm not doing HIV/AIDS genetic research or turning 21... I'm posting to my blog (that was a joke!!).

Anyways, I went to an NERD show this past weekend at NU and they performed a new song called Soldier that features Santigold on the track. Needless to say it was hot (two of my favorite artists teaming up couldn't be anything LESS than HOT!). I didn't get it on tape since my camera decided to be an asshole and die but I did find this MTV Spring Break performance which is probably better than the performance I witnessed since Santigold is actually there live. YESSSSS!!

Anywho, it made me think of their earlier collabo with Julian Casablancas of The Strokes which may quite possibly be my favorite music video EVER!

Anyways, here's the hotness. Enjoy!

post-modern world

2009-05-12T22:30:00.010-04:00

A postmodern idea is one that recognizes that objectivity is impossible to obtain. It implies the modern era, in which science is the source of truth and reality whereas the pre-modern era was one in which religion was the primary source of truth and reality. However, in the present, the post-modern era, there is no single definitive basis for truth and reality beyond the individual experience. Everything has essentially become subjective.

In post-modern society, truth and reality have been shaped individually. Truth and reality is different for each individual, as they have been developed individually, our personal experiences, history, social class, gender, culture and religion. Ironically, post-modernism's single universal truth is that there is no universal truth. Through the acceptance of this uniform notion it negates uniformity.

We're all just post-modern boys and girls.

The Strokes ft Regina Spektor - Post-Modern Girls

bargain deal

2009-05-11T17:41:00.009-04:00

I don't want my blog to start turning into a fashion commentary but...

Well, I fell in love with these Louboutin's that heaven knows I can't afford... so I went searching for the next best thing. I came across some sweet pumps on Endless for SUBSTANTIALLY less... try a grand less (given the $25 off purchases of 100+)!!

Not as hot as the designer pair but fire nonetheless.

a physical thing?

2009-05-10T09:23:00.011-04:00

Friends with benefits?

Can it be purely physical? Can it stay purely physical? Are our hearts capable of keeping out of the equation? Most importantly... where is the "benefit" in all of it when 9 times out of 10 someone ends up hurt?

Ok, FWBs sound like a good arrangement... little time investment, minimal emotional responsibility, and zero maintenance or commitment. But the risks involved may not be worth the trouble. I've played kissy face with more guy friends than I'd like to admit (and so have most of my friends). But I think we'd all agree that it seemed like a really good idea at the time as most things do after a couple drinks. But we'd also agree that our "friends with benefits" relationships definitely led to future awkwardness... game playing, prank calling, furtive glances, general stalking (kidding... sort of) and heartbreak.

It may seem like fun, but according to a Michigan State study released in 2007, these "booty call" relationships only appear to offer less stress. Sure, you get more action than the casual fling, but you still have to deal with the same fears often experienced by those in “real” romantic relationships, like the fear of unreciprocated affection.

But why is this the case?! Surely, our emotions factor into the scenario unexpectedly. How couldn't "feelings" become entangled in the mess of a FWB arrangement; it IS (contrary to popular belief) a relationship... just not a good one! But the thing about "Friends With Benefits" is that often, only one person gets all the benefits.

Friend With Benefits usually ends up One Friend Falling For the Other. Sometimes it’s because one side already has feelings for the other and is hoping to start something. Other times, it’s an ex who isn’t quite ready to break it off yet. Or it could just be two lonely friends who need some physical comfort. Whatever it is, it usually ends the same.

...And there are also other cons in this sort of relationship. While you’re in the FWB “relationship”, other potential dates may shy away from you if they find out you have such easy access to a booty call. You can hide your FWB, of course, but that leads to you being dishonest (another serious problem in relationships). Furthermore, some people aren’t too gung-ho on the thought of their future boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife having an FWB. Unfortunately, women with FWBs are judged more harshly than guys. It’s a double-standard, but that’s just the way it is.

Then there’s the whole losing-a-good-friend thing. Because once things go awry (95% of the time!) it’s undoubtedly over.

For the Ladies
(because we usually end up at the short end of the deal)

Of course there are some women who have successfully carried on a FWB relationship (formed no attachments, developed no feelings, benefited, etc.). However, based on the dichotomy of typical Male-Female interaction, Friends With Benefits frequently functions to service the physical needs of males while overlooking the more subtle emotional needs of females. Without mentioning the range of exceptions, women are pretty much wired to form emotional attachments to men they are intimate with. That's why having FWBs can get confusing. You feel attached to him, expect him to feel the same about you and so you want him to demonstrate caring (i.e. not being overly-affectionate with other women, having other sexual partners, etc.).

There are other cases in which a woman will become involved in this sort of arrangement because she's interested in having an actual relationship with a man, but FWB is all he's willing to give her. RED FLAG! In this case "Friends with Benefits" translates as "he gets to sleep with her when he wants but doesn't have to give her the love, support and respect that she wants and deserves." Any way you look at it, this guy wants neither to be a proper boyfriend nor to be a proper friend.... and if he doesn't want to be your boyfriend in the first place, he probably still won't later down the line. He has most likely already determined what you mean to him or how far he's willing to go for you. Just leave it alone.

Ladies, if you find yourself in this situation, at least salvage your self-respect. Stop the flow of benefits to him completely. Maybe then he will pay you more attention (or maybe not). All in all, you will have learned a vital lesson: It's just best to reserve sexual intimacy for relationships where there are clear signs of mutual affection. Otherwise, you'll just keep going down the same one-way street, called Disappointment.

It's not the sex that makes friends with benefits a bad bargain for women; it's simply the nature of the deal—lack of equal emotional involvement of the partners. So guys, even if she came to you with sentiments of a "no-strings attached" relationship at first, do not think you are in the clear. What happens when one day she turns to you and says (the all too-common outcome), “I think I’m falling in love you.” Sticky situation. My advice to you, it's less messy to watch porn lol.

Maybe I'm old fashioned in this respect, but my personal opinion is that physical intimacy should be shared between two people that mean something (more than a hook-up) to each other. Far too often people hop form one bed to the next without ever considering the consequences of their actions. Then they wonder why they end up with their heart broken, or why their lover has "lost their damn mind." Ultimately, FWBs are just not worth the drama they (potentially) cause but to each his/her own.

Christina Aguilera - Get Mine, Get Yours

ripped jeans

2009-05-09T09:09:00.008-04:00

Destroyed denim is so hot right now! Pull out your scissors, razor blades, and bleach pens because the worn/destroyed/torn look is back for Spring and Summer '09. It's most likely due to the return of "early 90s grunge"... and I'm not mad.

The look is rooted in a punk mindset and era where fashion was rebellious and seemingly unintentional. So, as an advocate of rocker chic (and effortless styling) I am loving today's trends. There's really nothing more comfortable than a perfectly ripped jean that looks good and fits well. There's nothing wrong with easy seamless style... that whole "oh, this old thing?!" mentality. In my eyes, the key is to make your outfit look "un-thought"... not over-thought! I'm pretty sure I'm not alone. Just check out Zoe Kravitz (LOVE HER!!) and you'll know all too well what I mean lol.

Some of my favorites that I've seen around town are pretty high end (for denim) but they seem well worth the money.

J Brand 12'' Destroyed Pencil Leg It comes in acid washes as well as simple white and black.
Current/Elliott's entire denim line is nice. They've gotten "ripping" down to an art. Their jeans are torn and shredded in all of the right places. Here's a great pair, the Skinny Jean.
Abercrombie & Fitch is the brand that practically brought destroyed denim back, and they did it in a major way. This season their destroyed skinny jean is called The Erin and it certainly lives up to the A&F name. The price is great too!!

...and for those who can't bring themselves to pay so much for a pair of jeans that is already broken in, there is always Forever 21. DIY is always an option as well... I mean, why spend money on a pair of ripped jeans when you can easily do-it-yourself. Here's a simple instructional video for distressing your denim (I haven't tried it myself so I don't know if it turns out well):

As always, just because it sort of fits...
Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit

back from the dead

2009-05-08T10:25:00.007-04:00

Hello all!!
I'm back from hiatus. My brief absence was everything short of a "hiatus" but now that I'm done with school for the summer it will feel a little more like vacation. So I'm back to my blogging ways now that I have my life back.

Anywaysss...
My absolute favorite designer is Alexander Wang and he has a hot collection for Spring '09 (view the AWESOME LookBook here!!). I was shopping around online and I came across the T collection, Wang apparel for under $100 dollars. Designer on a budget is always right up my alley (it's a recession people!!). Anways, I found everything "ready-to-own" on Shopbop. Alexander W. for the low?!! It's the best thing I've heard all month... Shop it here!!

My favorite piece from the '09 Spring collection...

Amber Rose wore it well... but I'm thinking her 15 minutes are up so I won't mention her anymore lol. Anyways, Alexander Wang is amazing!!... and now everyone can afford to look fabulous in his clothes (no matter how simple and chic they are!).

Good song... they played it on the latest episode of Gossip Girl (sad to say that it's my favorite show. I think I just like TV that makes me feel like my life is fairly normal lol). The song get's better about 2:45 minutes in lol... Be patient because it's wonderful when it picks up.

Gotye - Heart's A Mess

one night stand

2009-04-16T21:33:00.007-04:00

It's always nice to have a sense of humor about your "moments of weakness"...

This song makes me feel like I'm 12 again. So long story short... an unsuspecting victim meets a *Borat voice* 'geeenuiiine Rico Suave' at a bar while "drinking mojitos." Clearly under the influence of alcohol, she brings him home to continue their fun. Well, low and behold, in the morning when she awakes he is gone, and so is her "beloved" guitar. Ultimately a valuable lesson can be learned from this anecdotal piece: hide your valuables when strangers are the company in your home... or one-night stands just aren't such a good idea (unless on Spring Break or in Vegas lol). I'm favoring the latter.

So corny haha.

the golden age

2009-04-11T11:44:00.004-04:00

Because it's beautiful...

Composition (L'age d'or)
Derain, 1903-05
Tehran: Museum of Contemporary Art (now privately owned)

I stumbled across this painting haphazardly as I was doing research for a modern art history research paper I'm writing about Andre Derain. As my paper is about his Fauve landscapes, I won't be including this piece in my paper, but it really caught my eye (and partly because I've never seen it before--not that I'm an expert) so I thought I'd put it someplace I'd never forget/lose it.

"a golden hue that suppresses the shadows."

Derain on the virtues of Collioure

Animal Collective - In The Flowers

the penis song

2009-04-11T10:43:00.005-04:00

The Sweetest Thing (watch it free online HERE) is one of the best "chick flicks" ever made. Fun, syrup-y sweet, and effing hilarious.

The infamous Penis Song... even though the entire movie pretty much keeps me in stitches. Definitely a must see, enjoy!!

My absolute FAVORITE clip from the movie!!

"Hello is Jane there?!... Have a LOOOVELY day!!"

bal' astro boots

2009-04-11T10:26:00.005-04:00

These boots are to die for!!
It was love at first sight... they're made for me.

I blogged about them before in my Amber Rose post when I didn't know who made them... But I stumbled across them a second time on Rihanna's style blog Rihanna Daily (loooove her style!! if only I had the funds... I could do some serious damage).

Anyways they are Balenciaga Astro Girl Boots.
Hidden wedge, knee high, soft leather, amazing silhouette... what's not to love?! They're hot. And for a whopping $1,199 they can be yours (courtesy of Ebay). They supposedly retailed for $1,695+ originally, but they're "sold out everywhere."

Looks like I won't be getting these anytime soon (lol), student loans are a bish.

music that makes you dumb

2009-04-09T18:13:00.012-04:00

So there was a recent study done done by psychology professor Adrian North, from Hariot-Watt University (a survey of 36,000 people nationwide) that scientifically proves the direct correlation between musical preference and personality traits. I've always suspected this... but I guess now it's legit that its scientifically supported.

Just like you can learn a lot about a person by their reading material or looking through their closet, you can definitely come to KNOW a person through their music collection. However, I do not believe you can JUDGE a person by their musical tastes... we're individuals!! Disparities in musical preference are a sorry excuse to dislike someone. All in all, it's just as shallow as judging someone by the clothes they wear. Yes, certain people may be drawn to a particular genre of music, but nowadays with the amount of cross influence between musical and artistic styles, everyone is listening to a little bit of everything. Music is forever changing. But if someone has good taste in music (in your opinion), by all means they are certainly deserving of some cool points.

So the research done suggests that your personality plays a major role in the music that you prefer to listen to. They've made conclusions including:

Country-western listeners are hardworking and shy.
Rap/hip-hop listeners are generally outgoing.
Pop fans are uncreative.
Indie lovers lack self-esteem and motivation but are creative.
Soul music lovers are creative, outgoing, gentle, at ease with themselves and have high self -esteem.
Heavy metal and punk listeners are gentle.
Those who listen to exciting music are more likely to be in a higher earning bracket and conversely those who listen to relaxing sounds tend to be lower down in the pay scale.
Jazz and classical music fans are creative with high self-esteem, although the former are much more outgoing than the latter.

These conclusions are pretty ridiculous if you ask me. Yes, I do believe musical preference can reveal the social nature of a person (extrovert vs. introvert, open-mindedness, creativity and even political views) but as far as determining how much money one is capable of earning, or their self-esteem... that's completely illogical. There a number of variables that can confound these conclusions, and surely these findings have been inaccurately established. Saying that indie-listeners have low self-esteem is reaching... waaaaayy across the table (and I'm not just saying that because I'm an indie-lover myself). Today, indie incorporates so many different genres (indie hip-hop, indie folk, indie electronic)... it's simply much to broad to say that all indie lovers are insecure.

I also came across some music-intelligence research done by a grad student from CalTech which studied the relationship between musical styles (artists & bands) and the SAT scores of the people who listened to them. He found that the smartest students listened to Beethoven (average SAT of 1371) and the students who rung in at the bottom of the SAT scores listened to Lil’ Wayne (average SAT of 889). The average SAT score is around the 1000-1100 mark, and unsurprisingly most bands’ listeners fit into this range. I must say that the results are hilariously predictable LOL!! The low scores are correlated with Lil’ Wayne, Beyonce, and Reggaeton and on the high score side there’s Radiohead, Sufjan Stevens (man after my own heart), and Beethoven.

See where your favorite bands/artists fall - click the pic.

BEWARE: Your music might be making you DUMBER.
All the Wayne-heads better watch out!!

gifted... yesss

2009-03-28T17:08:00.005-04:00

Quite possibly the best combination of artists ever !!

N.A.S.A. (Mr. Beatmaker himself)
+ Kanye + Santigold + Lykke Li = Pure magic.

Great song. Cool video. Check it out.

Side note: I've noticed that the outer-space/martian/cosmic theme is in. Everything resolves around a futuristic space motif nowadays... whether it be in music, fashion, or art. Everyone's hopping on the bandwagon I guess.

let's get blitzed

2009-03-26T21:00:00.015-04:00

blitz [blits] –noun: any swift, vigorous attack, barrage, or defeat

It's BLITZ all right... the Yeah Yeah Yeahs do it again.
They are absolutely genius and by far one of my favorite bands of all time. I've been following them since the 9th grade... now, that's what I call loyalty... and for good reason. They never disappoint.

So... get down with the get down (lol)
DOWNLOAD their newest album It's Blitz HERE

Some older material from their self-titled album.
Pretty sweet ackshully.

"it's a mad house... this modern life"

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Art Star

2 for 1 Special lol
Here's the link to download my 'fav' YYYs album Fever To Tell
Amazing-ness made tangible... and better yet audible.
DOWNLOAD HERE

warhol-ly goodness

2009-03-26T12:35:00.008-04:00

"Don't pay any attention to what they write about you.
Just measure it in inches"
-Andy Warhol-

Take it all in stride... if someone keeps your name in their mouth, you're probably doing something right (most of the time lol... drunk whores don't count lol).

More words to live by...

Sometimes I think I should have been born in the 1960s (minus the whole racism thing... that just aint cool). I find myself idolizing iconic people of this era and falling in love with the whole culture in general. The music, the fashion, the art... it's all pretty dope.

One of my favorite portraits by Andy...

Che, 1962

Ok, random but...
Wanna Warhol a picture? Here are the links...
PHOTOSHOP METHOD (comes out niiiice)
ONLINE METHOD (looks pretty cheesy)

Some Jimi Hendrix...
Even though he is practically the opposite of Warhol's "Hollywood" persona, the two are of the same time. And Hendrix is THE BEST.

Jimi Hendrix - Foxey Lady

brazil's nice

2009-03-23T00:52:00.015-04:00

No Brazilians and only one girl... but the Brazilian Girls are still amazing !! This Downtown NYC combo out of the Nublu club has hipster cred, an alluring international feel and straight-up sex appeal. A mix of electronica, jazz and good ol' disco, this rhythm-happy combo is euphorically eclectic. Not to mention just plain wacky.

This song is basically what sex would sound like if it got a record deal. You can't listen to this and still call yourself a virgin (LOL).

"come back to earth...
let's drink some tea, smoke some herb"

Another Brazilian Girls song with more of a Reggae feel... I get a good chuckle. Ridiculous lyrics.

Brazilian Girls - Pussy

but i love you

2009-03-18T01:29:00.007-04:00

Depressing news...
Kid Cudi announced his retirement from "the industry."
Read his blog post HERE.

Cudi, you can't leave yet !!... You just arrived. I mean, dang, take off your coat and stay a while. He didn't even release the album... I wonder if there is anything anyone could say to change his mind? Welp, they always did say Hollyweird isn't for everyone. I myself don't think I could survive. I can't stand the HYPE.

Stay up Kid !! I still love you and your music... just be sure to move back to Cleveland so we can make babies lol.

leon - lolita

2009-03-15T23:27:00.012-04:00

If you thought Lolita was sick and twisted...
Just add in some crooked cops, the mafia, and a bunch of killing and you've got Léon (arguably even MORE sick and twisted...)

But don't get me wrong... this movie is pretty sweet !! It's about a professional hit-man, Léon (Jean Reno), who winds up taking care of his neighbor, a 12-year-old girl named Mathilda (Natalie Portman - one of her best films for sure), when her parents are murdered. One thing leads to another and he ends up teaching her his trade of assassination. Oh, and they fall in love !! It's actually really romantic... in a dis-functional and disturbing kind of way of course.

The odd couple's attraction comes from a deeper, more heartfelt love (caring, appreciation, respect) rather than sexual desire. It's the circumstances of their life, the violence and drama, the unique people they are that cause them to care so deeply for one another.

Needless to say, it's a really good movie (aside from some uncomfortable moments when they interact a little TOO intimately). It's pretty high action too (dude is literally a killing machine !! it's craaaazzyy... he takes out like 50+ guys in one scene) and the couple's dynamic is pretty amazing. Watch it HERE.

Good song.
Elefant - Lolita

the kiss by klimt

2009-03-13T15:40:00.009-04:00

Gustav Klimt is my favorite artist of the Art Nouveau era... come to think of it, he's actually one of my favorite artists of all time (and that's saying a lot coming from me... I'm an Art History major).

The Kiss, 1907

The Kiss is one of his most famous works and it's absolutely stunning! It is my favorite piece of 20th century artwork. Klimt painted it during his golden period (telling by his use of gold leaf). It depicts a couple, painted primarily in symbols and colored decoration, sharing a warm kiss against an elegant gold background. The Kiss is, like many of his other pieces, a subtle expression of Klimt's interest in eroticism and the liberation of human sensuality (can't go wrong with that lol). It falls in line with the artist's exploration of the power of emotion through art, which he is well known for. Niiiiice.

Another one of his masterpieces... it's mesmerizing...

The Girls (Virgin), 1912-13

It illustrates the phases of life that women go through. Typical of Klimt, it is another piece exploring the emotional aspect of art through symbolism and fascinating color schemes. Lovely.

f*#! me pumps

2009-03-12T20:46:00.013-04:00

OMMMGGG
Got these in the mail yesterday...

Dolce Vita 'Chastity' Gladiator Pump

MY LIFE IS COMPLETE !!

They're on sale at Nordstrom and Endless (FREE SHIPPING !!)
Get 'em quick... only a couple sizes left.

This song is MADE for these boots!
Kudu - Thrill of the Night

I really really REALLY want to see Kudu's live show !!
I bet it's insane !!

e&j spring '09 look

2009-03-12T18:44:00.006-04:00

My new favorite fashion line, Elizabeth & James, has released its Spring 2009 lookbook on their website featuring quirky looks for the photo shoot- grocery carts, bowling pins, a blow-up pool, a Miffy doll, My Little Pony and Godzilla were some of the props. As usual, their collection doesn’t disappoint. It is the perfect blend of masculine and feminine cuts... and the jewelry collection is out of this world !!

The Spring '08 jewelry collection was to-die-for !!
I NEED that silver knuckle ring and the dagger necklace but they're sold out EVERYWHERE!! I literally scoured the internet searching for them... to no avail.

Oh well... I may have to settle for the Robert Lee Morris version. He collaborated on the Spring '08 E&J jewelry collection.

And, they have some hot pieces in this season's E&J collection of course.

Everything is just fabulous !!
Shop the collection at Shopbop, Revolve Clothing or Netaporter.

Another thing I need in my life is this James Perse T-Shirt Dress !! Amazing SUMMER piece !!

ebony bonez

2009-03-10T16:17:00.010-04:00

Ebony Bonez was named one of the 40 Men and Women that Make London by Time Out Magazine... and it's for good reason, she's purely AMAZING !! Her originality is sooooo refreshing. I love her for simply being herself and producing the type of music she likes/wants to make regardless of what anyone thinks of it. Clearly, she's doing pretty well for herself... by just being herself !! She's become a favorite across the pond, wowing the socks off of music novices and lovers alike for her genre-fusing sounds. Her music is so eclectic and off-the-wall it probably shouldn't make sense... but it does that and SO MUCH MORE !!

"For me it's never been about being female. Music was a way to escape those shackles of society and feel liberated instead of crossing my legs and wearing a smile."

-Ebony Bonez, Clash Magazine (peep the full interview here)

If you like the Yeah Yeah Yeahs (Karen O), Santogold, MIA, The Ting Tings... or anything like them, you will most definitely appreciate her craft.

Check out her video for Don't Fart On My Heart

Another one of my favorite Ebony Bonez songs is "God Gold Oil and Drugs." She opens the song with an excerpt of the "Mad as Hell" monologue from the 1976 film Network. Brilliant !!

Ebony Bonez - God Gold Oil and Drugs

crushin' on cudi

2009-03-05T16:00:00.011-05:00

Haha, he makes me laugh...

"Hoes treated me like, whoooo are you?!
Now I get to choose like, you and her too"

New ishh
DOWNLOAD

Kid CuDi - '09 Freestyle

I have the biggest crush on this guy !!

mike relm

2009-03-05T13:06:00.008-05:00

I love this video...
Mike Relm people !!

For some reason his musical style puts me in the mind of Awol One.

Awol One - More Rude Than Handsome

And there's no real connection... but that song puts me in the mind of these songs, which I LOOOOOVE (lol).

Atmosphere - Glasshouse

Aesop Rock - Daylight

hell froze over

2009-03-04T23:37:00.004-05:00

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Here is the "Bonus Question" on the exam:

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa (a girlfriend of mine during my Freshman year) that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then #2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is Exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."

robots made me stupid

2009-03-04T23:14:00.009-05:00

Soooooo...
My iPod was on shuffle today and this song came on.
I realized that I relate to it entirely too much. Thanks Robots In Disguise for opening my eyes to the fact that my life is in shambles. Actually, now that I think about it, my life stays in disarray. S.O.S !!

Robots in Disguise - The Sex Has Made Me Stupid

"the sex has made me stupid
tequila's made me stupid
the grass has made me stupid
success has made me stupid"

Another AMAZING Robots song just because...
and the fact that everyone should be in love with them !!

Robots in Disguise - Turn It Up

my favorite color is...

2009-03-04T22:10:00.015-05:00

B L U

Please get hip !!
He is definitely one of the hottest MCs out right now. Here is the newly released free download EP (NOT a mixtape) from Blu, entitled HerFavoriteColo(u)r.

DOWNLOAD

On this self-produced project, Blu not only continues to show off his personal and flavorful rhyme style, but also shows he’s wreckin' on the beats as well. Blu shows off his skill, crafting conceptual collages from quotes, chops and loops of some of my favorite movies, as well as greats like Jimi Hendrix, Curtis Mayfield, Etta James, Radiohead and others. Definitely one of the best new releases (imo).

Here is some of his older material... the ish knockssss !!
One of my favorite songs from Below the Heavens

Blu & Exile - My World Is...

thick & thin

2009-03-03T21:09:00.018-05:00

So I was catching up on my Concrete Loop fix today and I saw a post of Kanye West and his new "squeeze" (no pun intended lol) out shopping... Check it out. Don't get it twisted... I do NOT read celebrity blogs to find out about their lives (who cares?!!) but I look at the pictures. I don't read the articles (unless it looks like something that may interest me) or the captions... I just look at the hair styles, clothes, shoes, makeup, etc. and I occasionally read the comments to get a good laugh. So, don't get it twisted !!

Anyways, hands down, Kanye's new "gf?" is definitely turning some heads. I must say that from the pictures I've seen she seems like a very beautiful and fashion-forward girl. I like how she's doing something new... and rocking whatever she wants to. I can't say that I'm feeling her short ensemble in the shopping pictures from the particular blog-post I'm referring to, but in other pics I've seen from fashion shows and such, I have looooved her style!! Especially these BOOTS... SO HOT!! If only I knew who makes them...

The entire ensemble is just on-point !!
And the pink lipstick and wayfarers are a nice touch.

The Bottega Veneta shoes she's wearing in pics of the "couple" shopping are to-die-for as well. In the words of a fellow Concretelooper, "I don’t know about her looks but this heifer know how to shop for some hot shoes" LMAO TRUUUUE !!

I dig the shaved head too. She's pretty enough to get away with it and somehow the look just works for her... I mean NOT everyone can rock a blond Caesar cut, not even most men! And clearly in her "industry" (gold-digging? video vixen-ing? LOL!!) it helps her stand out among all the other pretty faces. But I'm not blogging to talk about her shoes, her past, her sexuality, or her baldness...

After reading the comments on the post I just found myself awfully confused. Perhaps it's the way I've been conditioned... but I do not see her body as "bangin," "hot," or "off-the-chain," like the other 80% of commentors mentioned... not by a looooong shot. I think it looks way out of proportion and lacks definition. By no means is she "fat," but she certainly isn't what I would call "fit." Commentors were saying they needed to hit the gym after looking at her pics. But, in what way is this girl in shape?!! Ok, her stomach is flat but it's not toned and, no offense, but her thighs are of the thunder variety. It does NOT look like she exercises (other than on a pole, or trickin'... whatever it is she does for a living probably requires a good amount of physical activity lol). Her thighs aren't necessarily "big" but compared to her upper body and her small shaved head it all just looks strange. When did this become what (black) women wanted their bodies to look like?!... and why didn't I get the memo?!

It's probably just the hideous shorts that are throwing me off. (Kanye needs to stop wearing those New Balances... they are U-G-L-Y!! He has 'em on in the other pic I posted too. They look horrible, as if they jean on jean wasn't bad enough!) I mean, her body isn't bad, I just don't see why other women would want it (out of ALLLL the other bodies you could want?). There are plenty of other women with better bodies, in my opinion, that look like they've actually stepped foot in a gym and worked for it. Hers (especially in that outfit) is not very appealing to me. But why should it be, right?! I'm a heterosexual female.

While I'm on the topic I'll address another issue that applies.
So, I may have a skewed image of beauty (that's not entirely impossible) but clearly, after hearing conversations about who is and who isn't "thick," I cannot tell the difference between so-called "thick" and just plain ol' chunky. I'm not saying that Kanye's girl is fat (by some standards she is, by others she is skinny) but I am asking is this the new ideal? For years I have heard everyone referring to "thick" like it's a good thing, but where was I when this was all established? I probably sound like some naive little girl that has been bombarded by images of stick-thin models so long she thinks that to be emaciated is "beautiful"... but I'm not. I do not think that Chanel Iman, although a gorgeous girl, looks healthy (she couldn't possibly be with her ribs showing through her back like that... 5'10'' and 110 lbs. is NOT natural). But a ridiculously large ass, mile-wide hips, and big thighs is not attractive to me either.

Maybe I don't understand because I am not a (black) male... Or because I was raised around people who clearly had a different perception of body image (thin is in)... Or because I come from a family of small-framed women... Or because I am thin myself... I don't really know why. All I know is that "I don't get it." And I am NOT HATING !! I really just don't understand how a so-called "thick" body is attractive... unless it is muscular.

A lot of women (most likely questionably "thick" ones) would probably be very offended by my opinion and would love to teach my "skinny ass" a lesson... but it's just my opinion. Just like they post blogs titled phrases like "only a dog wants a bone" and "give this bitch a sandwich" I'm speaking my (opposing) opinion.

I actually think the "thick" ideal was created by black men. Although this body type is not at all in shape, women are just striving to be more attractive to them so they do anything to maintain their "curves." I mean has anyone ever heard of "subtle curves"? There is nothing wrong with a little refinement... just like there's nothing wrong with leaving something to the imagination ladies !! I hate how women define and judge themselves and other women by how men view them... not good at all.

Well, I love the body God blessed me with and I'm not about to stuff myself with cornbread, cheeseburgers or fried chicken to "thicken" up (or worse yet, get a butt-job lol) so I can be desirable to (more) men. I'm just fine with my size... I'm comfortable in my skin and you should be too.

nice guys finish last (part 2)

2009-03-02T16:51:00.011-05:00

The "nice guy" is immediately not very desirable to women because his approach is not quintessentially masculine (the forceful in your face, say anything-do anything, aggressive type)... their timidity and kindness cause women to think of them as just a friend... almost like one of the girls. The "nice-guy male friend" is the one that would never break a woman's heart; he's becomes the guy who's around when she needs him. He will be her comforting shoulder when her "bad boy" boyfriend goes postal, will be a shoulder to cry on-- but despite all of his "nice guy" efforts, he remains...

STUCK in the Friend Zone

So, what exactly is going on here?!
Well, the "nice guy" is still under her radar because:

1. She doesn't dislike him enough to turn him away.

2. She doesn't like him enough to want him in a romantic way.

This is probably one of the most frustrating things that a girl can do, but it happens... some women are more inclined to stick males into the Friend Zone but every women has at least one "converted" male friend who's probably still in love with her (a fact she'd rather ignore/repress). In some cases, this guy has been "wait-listed," put on the back burner for a rainy day, or in other cases, they have been ruled out completely. Once most guys cross over into the Friend Zone, there is no coming back.

This is unfortunate (especially for the guy involved) but it only happens with NICE women. They're so nice, that they can't be straight forward and blunt when they need to turn a guy down. A woman already knows whether she is not attracted to a particular guy within the first 10 seconds of meeting/seeing him, but in that short period of time, she probably doesn't dislike him enough to flatly reject him. This is where it really gets bad, because the she is creating false hope (upon giving mixed/ambiguous signals) for the man pursuing her. When he finally realizes that he will never be more than a friend (the feeling is not mutual), he is left heart-broken.

My advice to "Nice guys": Toughen up... say no sometimes (if you are a friend). Don't drool and dote over her all the time. Chill out a little!!... Maintain your cool and don't be too needy. Although all woman say they want to be a man's first priority, they don't. At least not until they are married (well at least I'd hope a wife is a major priority in her husband's life). Also, make yourself (appear) busy. Let her know that you have other interests, other friends, and OTHER things to do... without forgetting her completely of course. Also, don't make her feel like your world with stop turning if she denies you, because then you may find yourself in an even worse situation as just a friend... unless you're okay with that of course.

All in all... some people are just not for each other. Not every woman is gonna love whatever man flaunts himself in front of her face, just like every man is not going to be attracted every woman. The truth is, there are going to be some women who just can't/won't see a good thing even when it's right in front of their face, and although they won't admit it, they subconsciously enjoy the drama and heartache they wind up with in relationships with "bad boys." These women may consciously say that they deserve better, but their subconscious insecurities tell them otherwise.

If it's meant to be... it will be. If not... c'est la vie.
You win some you lose some. Most times when someone walks out of your life, it's so someone better (suited for you) can walk in. Besides, you deserve better. Someone who appreciates you... and that's the truth.

nice guys finish last (part 1)

2009-03-02T13:13:00.011-05:00

I am going to preface this by saying...
As a young woman who finds herself disappointing "nice guys" time and time again, I feel that I should address the issue and speak my opinion on the matter.

The "nice guys finish last" principle is based on the discrepancy between a woman's stated preference in men: she says she wants a "nice guy" but usually, if not always, ends up going for the "jerk/asshole/bad boy" in the end. I mean, how many times have you heard some poor guy uttering the phrase "nice guys finish last" ??? It's sad but it's true a large majority of the time. But what is it about "nice guys" that causes their hearts to get stomped on?

In order to answer this question... it is important to confront another age old question:

Why do women love bad boys?!

Well, women generally respond more positively toward men who are more aggressive, the prime trait of a quintessential "bad boy." Regrettably, this aggressive arrogance is oftentimes mistaken for confidence, which leads to certain disaster 10 out of 10 times. But, it doesn't matter whether these men are good for them or not. This aggression in men is sexually attractive to (most) women (of course there are exceptions to every rule). Therefore men whose approach is more assertive, bold, cocky, confident, perhaps even with a touch of humor (most women are turned on by a guy who can make them laugh... especially if he's a "bad boy") will usually get the attention and affection of more women. On the other hand, the man who takes the timid, indecisive, unsure, shy route tends to get ignored or treated less seriously. Quote, unquote "Nice Guys" tend to fall in the latter category.

Nice equates with boring and predictable. If you look up the word "nice" in the dictionary you find: pleasant, agreeable, satisfactory. In other words, average. Not exciting, not exceptional, and certainly not sexy. People in general are usually drawn to what they aren't supposed to have... or what they cannot have. Men and women alike prefer a bit of a challenge in life, so of course this carries over into the streams of dating.

Things that are easily acquired, obtained, or maintained, without any effort or sacrifice, lack value... it's just the nature of things. The "bad guy" wins with women, over the "nice guy," because women perceive him as more valuable, or a hot commodity. This is because a "bad guy" never invests everything --his ego, self-worth, and being-- in what one woman's response of reaction to him is. He doesn't gush with compliments; he isn't ALWAYS available; he doesn't give too much; and he knows he isn't going to die if a woman says "no" to him. A more confident, assertive guy's approach is that he would like to date you, but if he can't, it's OK --he's got a lot of other exciting things to do. He has options... and that makes him desirable to women because he's not easy. No one wants anything that is TOO easy (unless they are just plain lazy). As women, we don't want a guy who is TOO available or TOO into us... TOO soon.

A "nice guy" (just because of his nature as the "subtle pursuer") usually cares too much, too quickly. He has made the woman too important and too valuable, which shows in everything he says and does. He is too available, too eager to please, too accommodating, and gives too much (without getting much, if anything in return). By doing so, the "nice guy" has made himself appear desperate, insecure and needy of this woman's attention, affection and approval-- therefore stripping himself of value. After all, if he's already doing and giving everything without a return, why would she value him? Instead, she will look for someone else, who she perceives as being more worthy, more confident and more valuable... most likely a "bad boy."

thanks drizzy drake

2009-03-01T14:29:00.023-05:00

Thank you Drake for not ruining one of my favorite songs !!
I can honestly say that Drake brings a raw new element to Lykke Li's Little Bit without changing the entire song completely OR wrecking the chill vibe the original carries. By adding a (not necessarily needed, but welcomed) R&B/Hip-Hop edge, he breathes new life into the song (considering that it's been in rotation for more than a year). I dig.

Drake ft Lykke Li - Little Bit

All in all, Drake's new mixtape So Far Gone is killing !!
I'm actually sort of surprised that I like it as much as I do... He's been around for a minute and I can't say that I was feeling his older material (Replacement Girl?! How about NO!!). But his recent release is quite impressive. I love that he integrates a plethora of different sounds/genres. He incorporates a range of artists from UGK's Bun B for the screwed-and-chopped Texas vibe, to Peter, Bjorn And John on the hipster tip. ("Them hipsters gon' have to get along with them hood n****s"). Needless to say, the songs where he is alone on the track are just as hott, if not hotter.

Download So Far Gone HERE

i carry it in my heart

2009-03-01T09:25:00.014-05:00

"kisses are a better fate than wisdom"
-E.E. Cummings-

E.E. Cummings is one of the most acclaimed American poets of the 20th century. Not only was he a poet, but he was a painter, essayist, author and playwright. He wrote approximately 2900 poems, an autobiographical novel, four plays, and several essays, along with crafting a number of paintings and drawings as well. Despite his popularity, he is by no means my favorite poet (that would be Maya Angelou) but he did, however, write one of my favorite poems of all time...

It's a love sonnet, speaking sentiments of a deep and profound love... the kind that can keep the stars apart and that can transcend the soul or the mind.

I Carry Your Heart With Me (E.E. Cummings)

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in
my heart) I am never without it (Anywhere
I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)

I fear
No fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) I want
No world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
And it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
And whatever a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
And the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
Higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide
And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart).

I love it... surprisingly, because I'm not into "mushy gushy romantic love stuff." This poem on the other hand does not come off as "mushy gushy" so much as it conveys the deep-rooted, everlasting and eternal love that exists between an individual and their mate. By no means is this love superficial, one-sided, or fleeting... it is unbreakable. This is the way it is supposed to be, even though relationships like this are so few and far-between nowadays. We can only be so lucky to be in love like this at least once in our lives. In that case once would be enough though, right?! It would be forever.

Many of Cumming's poems (including this one) have been set to music... or incorporated into love songs, like one of my faves... Check it out !!

Bloc Party - Ion Square

purpleee !!

2009-02-28T14:25:00.002-05:00

These are ridiculous !!
I need them in my life ASAP !!

...and I don't even like Jordan's usually.
I guess these are just a rare breed!! I love the solid purple nylon look (I think they also come in a sapphire blue). I need these bad boys.
Cop a pair at VAULT.

ye & cudi do heartbreak

2009-02-28T11:50:00.002-05:00

Doooooopppppeeeee!!
This is the best video I've seen thus far!!
Revolutionary.

KANYE WEST "Welcome to Heartbreak" Directed by: NABIL from nabil elderkin on Vimeo.

Get familiar.

Word to Kid Cudi !! ---I'm your biggest fan !! ;)
Funniest song evveerr...

88-Keys & Kid Cudi - Wasting My Minutes

from 88-Keys mixtape Adam's Case Files

yummy yummy

2009-02-26T21:47:00.000-05:00

JAMES FRANCO
the boy is breathtaking...

And he's sorta got that bad boy thing going for him... swoon. In the words of Andre 3000, "Where can I find this make and model?... or has it been discontinued?"

i was a werewolf

2009-02-26T15:19:00.000-05:00

"In a dream I was a werewolf

My soul was filled with crystal light
Lavender ribbons of rain sang
Ridding my heart of mortal fright"

CocoRosie is on of my favorite musical ensembles. It is a pair of American sisters, "Coco" and "Rosie" that are based out of France (so they usually tour throughout Europe, boooo!!). Stylistically, they are probably categorized as folk---but in my opinion they have successfully created their own individual style. They maintain the mellow and "vintage" vibe of indie/folk rock, while incorporating a plethora of electronic undertones in almost all of their tunes. Noah's Ark would have to be their most "folky" album (imo). Folk and all, they're just fabulous!!

I truly love them for their powerful lyrics. They usually say the things no one really wants to say, or confront... and most of their material is very personal (touching on their troublesome childhood, their relationship with their father, past lovers, etc.) without being too blunt. A trained ear can decipher most of their lyrics, but they certainly incorporate a lot of secret meanings that come off like "inside jokes" that only the sisters understand. However, their tone and delivery is quite haunting, in a good way of course... addicting, actually.

This is one of my favorite songs by them. Enjoy!

CocoRosie - Werewolf

In my interpretation, it is about their father and the hardships he has caused them over the years. It isn't spiteful though, like a bashing or a rant. On the other hand, it is tender... as if they are accepting of the past and the trouble he has caused... like they are forgiving his shortcomings as a paternal figure in their lives. They are simply moving on from it. It's all about redemption. Carrying on "with no remorse" and not letting the trials you have faced in your life keep you from happiness and success in the future. Songs like this are what make me love CocoRosie!

pandora generation

2009-02-26T11:45:00.001-05:00

So, I came across this website yesterday. It's absolutely amazing... and so easy to use. All you have to do is register (quick and FREE), then put in one of your favorite artists. They generate a playlist (based on your musical preferences) chocked full of cool new music that you would probably like (that is if you don't already it). It's phenomenal. Absolutely marvelous idea!!... I wish I had come up with it first lol. It's a whole new way of discovering cool new music, or just creating a playlist of ALL good songs without the time and hassle.

...and I can honestly say that the radio station playlist they created from my Santigold (it used to be Santogold, right? idk) entry was pretty damn great. It started with Santigold - L.E.S. Artistes, then moved on to songs by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs (another favorite of mine), CSS, Feist, the Ting Tings, Metric, Lily Allen and MIA. Seriously, they've got it covered. I loved every song they featured on my personal playlist. It just kept getting better and better!! I thought that iTunes' Genius was special... Pandora has one-up'ed Apple for sure. It's not confined to using music that you already own... it can introduce your ears to something new!! It's a revolutionary way of discovering new music, and it doesn't involve leafing through pages of Billboard, or listening to snippets of songs that you can't decide on. Pandora is crisp, clear and always plays the ENTIRE song for you.

Free music for all!! This may just be the coolest thing since sliced bread... or ice-cream cake (mmmm, ice-cream cake...). Anyways, check it out. If you love music as much as I do, you won't be disappointed.

(...I should be getting paid for this)

cellar door

2009-02-25T23:29:00.000-05:00

doors of notre dame, paris (not exactly a cellar door)

"This famous linguist once said that of all the phrases in the English language, of all the endless combinations of words in all of history, that Cellar Door is the most beautiful."

"sel-er dohr"

This is my favorite line (other than, "how exactly does one suck a fuck?!" lol) taken from the sci-fi indie flick Donnie Darko, one of my favorite movies... if you haven't seen it, you definitely should! WATCH IT HERE FREE !!

Although the movie is fiction, the fact is not! This belief that cellar door is the "most beautiful phrase" in the English language comes from the famous linguist J.R.R. Tolkien, who stated:

"Most English-speaking people will admit that cellar door is beautiful, especially if dissociated from its sense (and from its spelling). More beautiful than, say, sky, and far more beautiful than beautiful."

I must admit, I personally find it to be quite pleasing to say when blended as one word, like "Celadore." It does just roll off the tongue... then again, it doesn't exactly sound or feel like English when said like that. I like the words ethereal and cerulean better.

Moving on...
For your listening and viewing pleasure, here is the video for Move by CSS (Cansei de Ser Sexy---Portuguese for "tired of being sexy" lol). Caoot-sy video. Popp-y song. Quirky concept.